Dropping the Ball

Posted on April 11, 2011


As a brief foreword- I wish to note that I drafted this post three times in the last month.

Alright. So I messed up. I dropped the ball.

When I started this blog for JMS220, I went in with a plethora of ideas. The vista before me seemed like an excellent opportunity, since the theme of my blog is self-improvement and jumping over my personal hurdles. I would update twice weekly, tracking things I want to improve in, and I would document my progress. As should be apparent, I didn’t do anything of the sort! I took one oafish stumble forward, hit a hurdle, and went down. After that, I proceeded to whine about my bruises and how I would get back to the blog later when I had motivation and inspiration.

Now, a week has turned into a month-and-a-half, and I feel downright silly. I’m a loquacious bastard, and yet when given a platform like WordPress to shout from about what I’m doing with myself, I took a turn for the taciturn. How dumb! How very, very dumb.

I’ve gone through this semester in a bit of a foggy haze. I don’t want to say I gave up on myself at any point, that’s not what happened. I went in determined not to miss a single damned class this semester and work six days a week, while making efforts to join the Daily Aztec. In combination with some of poor sleeping habits and my ill-formed concept of time management, this proved disastrous. I burned out. Dropping the ball helped me cool off, but NOW I get to play catch-up with my classes. And THAT has me bogged down in the past and present, so that I’m having a hard time planning ahead and preparing for upcoming events and due dates.

But, at least I’m actually making the effort now. I’ve entered a strange period of staggering self-awareness, and I don’t know how it started or when … but I’m in it, and boy, am I stoked on it. Instead of excusing myself from my duties as a student at San Diego State University and putting myself in a false state of security, I’m owning my semester-long mistake-making spree and making amends with myself and my neglected classes.

I know it doesn’t necessarily make up for the fact that I haven’t been posting on my blog whatsoever … but the current plan is to update the living hell out of it. Perhaps it’s easier now that I’ve got some results from some of the things I said I wanted to work on; I’ve got something to actually share instead of whining about how hard it is to keep stable financially or how girls are dumb.

So, let’s see what’s been hibernating in my bag of tricks…

And because that turned out to be less than cheerful, here’s a picture of puppies.

Posted in: School