“Find out what it means to me!”

Posted on February 9, 2012

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Recently, Tania (my lovely lady) and I discussed a particular dynamic about relationships that I thought might be interesting to share on here. It’s something I think is integral to any successful relationship between two people, whether it be a romantic connection or a work-place friendship or a casual rendezvous. It is also something I’ve been chasing this entire past year, and really characterizes everything I’ve done lately.

The thing I’m talking about is Respect.

This blog doesn’t go back far enough to give you a good idea of who I was, so I’ll summarize for you. I once posted on my Myspace account that I was proud of the fact that I could fall asleep anywhere. I often missed classes because I stayed up too late playing video games the night before. I didn’t own a car, and I couldn’t have driven it anyway. I infamously made stupid choices while drinking at parties, and often. I was lazy and embracing it. I was certainly likable, but I don’t think anyone thought very highly of me (aside from my parents, derp). In retrospect, I didn’t feel respected by my managers at work, nor by my girlfriend at the time.

More importantly, I don’t believe I respected myself. I let people walk all over me, that’s for sure. I never felt a hundred percent great about who I was, or what I was doing with my time. I also didn’t feel like people really cared about my opinion, or really listened to what I had to say. That might have just been my perception, of course.

So, that’s something I’d really been striving for this past year. As mentioned in other posts, I’ve certainly turned a lot of things around.

What Tania and I mainly addressed what value respect has in a romantic relationship. I am all sorts of concerned about maintaining the respect that my girlfriend holds for me. The minute that gets lost is the minute your significant other becomes disinterested in what you think about things, and you in general. So, in everything I do, I try to earn her respect. Because it MUST be earned. It’s not just given out freely.

Tania reasoned that I shouldn’t have to do these things to earn her respect, as she says I already have it. But it’s not solely for her that I do these things. I do them for myself, too. I dress nicely, I drive a (mostly) nice car, I work a great job, and I work hard in school. It makes me feel better about myself, after all, and I figure it’s an added bonus that Tania likes who I am too.

Some of the details of that conversation have faded since Monday. If I remember them, I’ll tack them on here.

Posted in: Life, Relationships